My turtles :(

This was happy me with my SJ. 

 This is SJ, with the lines. This is PB, because the spots are really obvious.

 And giving the death stare for picking it up. Hahaha SJ totally comfortable with me, unlike PB.

Happily stacking up on top of each other. :)
No idea why SJ likes to squash its face against something. 

Trying to climb on the tree. Crazy dude. 
And yes, finally got on the tree, this is PB. Always active. 

Got 2 turtles for my birthday and after a lot of suggestions and thinking, i decided to go with peanut butter and strawberry jam. But they are just hatchlings, and unfortunately, i couldn't take better care of them, which resulted in them being sick and eventually die. 

When SJ was really sick, I didn't know what to do. It was my first time rearing my own pets, i didn't realise that SJ was sick, and it got worse. Changing water for it every half hour so that it stayed warm,  and the towels and shifting it around the house where there is light. I brought their tank down and sat under the sun with them for an hour. But still, SJ didn't make it. And SJ survived the longest even though it was sick. I can actually see that it kept fighting to stay alive, and that really broke my heart. I've never felt so guilty in my whole life. For going out to play and ditching my turtles because i thought it was damn easy to take care of. It really sucks so bad. And that feeling when you wake up in the morning and you see your turtle dead after seeing it get better the night before, just sucks so badly. 

And since turtles can't survive themselves, i had to get a new one, otherwise my other turtle will die of loneliness. This one is named Pineapple jam. But, it got sick again just right before i started work. I considered bringing it to a vet since turtles can live very long, but i was conflicted about the money. But, guess i didn't have to make the choice since it didn't survive the night. Maybe some of my friends think it's really retarded, cause they are just turtles, and compared to a dog or cat or rabbit, maybe it's life isn't as worthy since they only cost $3-4 each. But, it's still a life. And i hate that it was my fault that it died. 

As much as i wanted to get another one to accompany PB, but i was just too upset with PJ's death to get another. And i thought i will try to play with PB more often instead after work since i can't take care of them both. I thought PB was okay, but after a few days it was less active. And i knew PB was really carnivorous, so i gave it dried shrimps and bought small fishes for it to eat, but it barely ate the shrimps and only caught one fish. :( I rushed out in the night to get medicine for it the moment i see it getting sick, and i was too worried to wait until morning, and i called 10 over pet shops to find the treater for it because it's finishing and it was sold out in so many shops. I tried my best to go home after work and clean it, and waking up earlier to get it clean and warm even though it was really tiring. It sucks so much since I'm trying to deal with the first and second turtle dying, i still have to take care of my another sick turtle, and what's worse is, it died too. And i have no idea why PB was sick, until now. I knew why SJ and PJ were sick and eventually died, but i really have no idea why PB fell sick, And having more experience taking care of my sick turtles, sadly, i did all the treatment for it correctly and timely, but still, it didn't make it. Just 2 days before my birthday. It sucks so bad i didn't want to rear pets already. 

I thought turtles were really easy to take care. Just left it to be and feed it, clean its tank and it will be fine. Didn't think much about the temperature of the water, or intensity of light it needs. Think my home isn't suitable to rear turtles, and might be too cold and without enough sunlight in my house, i guess they didn't manage to grow up. Maybe i cursed it or something, since everyone didn't even care about their turtles, and it grew up fine, but mine died, even with the effort that i put in. It sucks so much, all those times when i was out but i was really worried about my turtles, and wishing the activities will end so i can go home by a certain time to take care of them. I really did try. But i guess, I'm not meant to for turtles. And the guilt is just hard to forget. 

Thought i was capable of having a dog, but after these incidents, i need to reconsider my capabilities. The amount of effort and priority for my pets, and time consumed... I don't know if I'm up to it anymore. Maybe in the future i might get another turtle, or dog of my own, but right now... I might not be suitable. And it still sucks, i miss my turtles. 

Bye~