Feeling a little trapped with the squishing deadlines and materials to produce. Procrastinated for hours, and I'm finally settling in, but there is not enough time. Perhaps i'm just not used to working hard, staying up late to manage deadlines, and giving it my all for something that i want. Time is more lax since completing internship. Of course, on days that I am productive, I stay up late applying for jobs, and rewriting the cover letters irks me the most. It definitely feels challenging because i'm not a writer, and I take more time than others, or so I will think, to write a good enough version that I am confident of sending to a potential employer. Somehow, it seems easy to others, than myself, in how they achieve what they want to achieve, or maybe i'm just not looking hard at how they slog themselves behind all that success.
I am excited about all the possible opportunities and at the same time not. Not sure if i should credit the opportunity to myself or to luck. New beginnings tomorrow, is a tad intimidating for me after having not managing a few priorities at a go, and to do so now, I cannot make a mess of them. Again, i tend to worry about burning bridges or offending anyone, but it is a good reminder that they don't make me happy, and I should think firstly for myself. Navigating the corporate world is such a chore, and there seems to be a system to everything, with words being read too deep, and politics seeping in. Dreading all that, and I hope I don't get suck in after having to put them down.
Offering myself a few reminders before the storm begins, or have already begun; To remember things that make me happy, and to do more of them. Money is everything to exist, but remember to live happily. To always be grateful, and put my ego down only to be able to learn and grow.
Time to get back to those writing, and taking in everything like a sponge.
Cheerios
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